I don’t do the activities weekly so I’m not blogging about the latest assignment here. The assignment I’m currently tackling is creating a success tracker. This assignment has serendipitously come at a perfect time for me. I’ve been diligently plodding away at achieving my creative dreams for 3 months now and have recently been lamenting my perceived lack of progress. This assignment gave me the perfect opportunity to switch my perspective around and focus on everything that I have achieved instead of everything that I haven’t . When I consider the achievements in light of the bigger context then they become even more impressive.

For example, I’ve joined Deviant Art. Not something to break out the bubbly for unless I stop to consider that I used to spend hours trawling through that website in admiration of the art I found there when I probably should have been writing some dull lab report for first year psychology. So, now I’m a member of an online community that I used to admire from afar long before I had any notions of making art or selling my art and designs. Definitely something that is worthy of reflection.

Before I began this assignment I’d already created a section in my journal for a “Compliments Memory”. I created this to keep my inner critic in check. She’s a real douche canoe and can get completely out of control sometimes and even took the driver’s seat in my life for a good long while. Her favourite method of sabotage is to dredge up random memories of times when I wasn’t good enough, smart enough, fun enough, pretty enough, blah blah blah (I know: She’s actually quite dull really, so passé). Having said that she can also be quite subtle and passive aggressive – a much more insidious strategy. What she really seems to excel at is erasing all the times I have ever done anything right from my memory.

One method I tried to combat her stealth attacks was to immediately think of an alternate example when I had been good enough, smart enough, etc and so on. An excellent plan I thought. She was way ahead of me. I seemed to have mis-placed all of those moments in life that I should have been cherishing and instead expended all of that energy storing decade-old missteps and slights. The solution was obvious. Given that I can’t trust my memory to be a kind and less biased historian I decided to create an external memory completely impervious to the ravages of time and silly insecurities.

So I’ve combined my “Compliments Memory” with Andrea’s “Success Tracker” and now have a “Compliments & Achievements Memory”. It’s been going very well so far. I hadn’t looked at it in a while and got it out today for this blog post and enjoyed quite a nice ego boost. It seems obvious to say so but if you’re considering making your own I strongly suggest you don’t censor it in any way. For example, I by no means think I’m anything special when it comes to looks but my partner happens to think I’m a bit of alright so I’ve got quite a list of synonyms for sexy beast in there. So, according to my Compliments & Achievements Memory, I am a hot domestic goddess who makes sweet art with a dark twist, is extremely talented, interesting and exciting, gentle and calm, sensitive, caring, passionate and compassionate, friendly and supportive.

Wow, I didn’t know I was that cool.

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I’m very excited to be a part of Andrea Schroeder’s new online group “Creating Dreams Come True“. Turns out, our first assignment is to start a list of 100 things we want to do, be, or have! Her theory (in direct opposition to mine) is that to come up with 100, stretches you to dream bigger and really expands your ideas of what is possible. So, in the interest of being open to new ideas and having a bit of fun, I’m going with it. Here’s what I’ve got so far:

1. Go on a hot air balloon ride somewhere spectacularly beautiful
2. Successfully sell my collage papers on Etsy
3. Successfully sell my paintings and digitally altered photography on Red Bubble and Image Kind
4. Find my community and make true friendships with other creative, kindred spirits
5. Build a wardrobe full of flattering, quirky, beautiful clothes with lots of skirts, gorgeous footwear, and accessories
6. Have several side projects that earn an income from our travelling – photography, e-books, blog, etc
7. Learn bookbinding
8. Be an accomplished artist
9. Be an excellent conversationalist
10. Own an original Heather Haynes painting
11. Learn how to make pottery
12. Learn to sew
13. Create a children’s book
14. See the aurora borealis
15. Travel Canada in our motorhome
16. Travel New Zealand in our motorhome
17. Make friends in every country we travel to
18. Accept, forgive, and let go
19. Learn the story of my adoption
20. Go paragliding somewhere spectacularly beautiful
21. Practise yoga
22. Join a lively, fun, and friendly book club
23. Patronise contemporary and jazz dance productions
24. Patronise the theatre
25. Own a cozy, rustic cottage in the hills with a studio and an open fireplace
26. Continue to travel Europe in our motorhome
27. Hike the Alps
28. Patronise classical music concerts
29. Attend the Venice Carnival
30. Experience the midnight sun
31. Live in Ireland
32. Live in Paris
33. Live in London
34. For Mike and I to meet our target monthly income from our creative endeavours alone
35. Get to know my brother’s fiance and be a part of my niece’s life
36. Practise meditation
37. Travel Tasmania, Australia, in our motorhome
38. Feel strong and powerful in my body (I totally plagiarised that from Andrea but her wording was just so perfect!)

Wow, over a third of the way there and there’s still such a long way to go! I can see what Andrea means, I really am going to have to get a bit outrageous to make it to 100!

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