Nellie Windmill

I’m participating in Andrea Schroeder’s online group called “Creating Dreams Come True”. For me, Andrea’s blog is one of those blogs I feel a connection with each time I visit, so participating in an online group of her design is fairly exciting. Last week, our assignment was to begin a Big list of Big dreams. This week, we’re making a list of dreams that have come true. To quote from Andrea, “this list helps to deepen our belief that dreams come true, and strengthen our faith in ourselves as the creators of dreams come true… part of what this list does is re-frame your self concept to see that you are already a success! When you feel like a success, you tend to create more successes”. A pretty solid theory, me thinks. I must admit, I feel a bit sheepish about writing this list. Will it be disappointingly unimpressive, or maybe I’ll feel like I’m gloating, or will it make me reflect on everything that I Didn’t excel at? Well, I guess we’ll find out…

1. Found my soul mate. Fell in love and stayed in love. Made a life together.
2. Went to university. I dreamt of this before I even knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. I just knew I wanted to go to uni, to live on campus, to go to lectures, and to learn important, interesting things.
3. Got a social work degree. When I did figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up, it was a social worker.
4. I ended up getting a Bachelor of Arts degree along the way too.
5. I got the grades in high school to get into the degree I wanted.
6. I got the grades in my BA and the work experience I needed to get into the most prestigious university in Australia to study social work (rather ironic really, going to a prestigious university to study how to address social disadvantage).
7. Moved to Melbourne. I grew up in the country and dreamt of living in the city. I actually dreamt about living in Sydney but thankfully I grew out of that and I’m very glad I didn’t move to Sydney (because then I wouldn’t have achieved my number 1 dream come true).
8. Making art I love. I love the art I’m making at the moment and I love making it. I’m in the midst of opening an online shop to sell the collage papers I’ve designed, my paintings and my digitally altered photographs.
9. Begin painting. Very intimidating and scary and there were a couple of false starts. I finally managed this hurdle with the help of Taking Flight by Kelly Rae Roberts – another social worker turned artist.
10. Turned my doodles into finished paintings. Actually finishing a piece was a challenge. I’ve always doodled but this is the first time in my life I’m following through and completing them.
11. Travelling the world. For as long as I can remember I’ve dreamt of traveling. My partner and I have bought a motorhome and are traveling Europe and North Africa.
12. Saved enough to travel the world
13. Got enough house sitting jobs to save on rent to travel the world
14. Organised and followed through with all the details of moving overseas
15. Found the perfect motorhome for us, within our budget, from a trusted dealer
16. Learnt how to live in a motorhome
17. Travelled Ireland
18. Went to Paris, twice
19. Went to Queensland. For Aussie kids (or at least the ones I grew up with) Queensland is THE place to go for the holidays. I finally got my wish when I went with my partner and got to swim in pristine rivers and walk through lush rain forests.
20. Drove through the English countryside
21. Experienced spectacular natural beauty on our travels
22. No longer have to worry about money. There was a time in my life when I had to ask a friend for money for a bus ticket, when I only had one set of work clothes because I couldn’t afford to buy another, when I burst out in tears after an emergency trip to the dentist’s because I’d just spent my entire fortnight’s budget and didn’t know how I was going to eat. Now I’m in a place where, even if I lost all my savings I’m confident I could get a well paid job and survive.
23. Got a social work job working with refugees. I originally went into social work wanting to work in the mental health field. After volunteering at the Asylum Seeker Resource Centre I came away not wanting to work in any other field.
24. Learnt guitar. In high school I really wanted to be able to play an instrument. I took guitar lessons and ended up giving the lessons after a year.
25. Made contact with my birth mother. This didn’t go too well. I definitely wasn’t ready but I didn’t know that at the time and at least I tried.
26. Exercised my way to a bikini body. I only lasted a few months at the gym but it was just enough so I didn’t shame myself in my string bikini on the beaches of Southern Thailand.
27. Learnt how to cook (thanks to my partner for showing me how)
28. Learnt how to use photoshop to digitally alter photographs
29. Learnt how to hold a conversation with someone I don’t know without debilitating levels of anxiety
30. Am happy with my body
31. Got my driver’s license. I still can’t drive to save my life but I have a driver’s license… I test well.
32. Developed a healthier level of self respect
33. Made friends
34. Volunteered as a caseworker at the Asylum Seeker Resource Centre once a week for a year and a half
35. Leading a life that feels true to myself
36. Let go of caustic friendships
37. Overcame my arachnaphobia (ok, that one’s a stretch)
38. Making connections with other artistically inclined peeps on the interwebs
39. Attended an art class
40. Doing an online photoshop course with DJ Pettitt
41. Attended a professional development course in Belfast, Northern Ireland
42. Travelled through Italy with friends
43. Learnt how to use a computer and type (unlike the rest of my generation I didn’t grow up with a computer in the household)
44. Finding my own style in my artwork
45. Survived year 12 Japanese, despite my utter neglect of the subject throughout high school
46. Started a blog
47. Putting my art work online for people to see
48. Starting a creative business

On reflection, it was a bit of an uncomfortable list to make. It meant re-visiting times in my life when things weren’t so good in order to remember what I dreamed of at those times. However, doing this I realised that I do have a lot of those things now. It feels good to be able to look back and know how I felt then about the dreams come true, how they felt so impossible or far away and out of reach and yet here I am living them. Sometimes I spend so much time feeling regret or guilt about the past that it’s a welcome shift of perspective to solely think about the things I did right. It’s definitely a more constructive frame of mind given that “when you feel like a success, you tend to create more successes”.

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